No escape

There is no running away. Whatever the trouble, however sharp the pain, there is nothing to do except go through it. Trying to distract the mind does not work for too long. Denial feels like a good way out...till reality comes back to hit you with twice the force. So really, there is nothing to do but endure. And keep reminding yourself that just like the good times, the bad times cannot last forever either. Avoid self-pity and just suck it up. Keep going. Whatever happens, just keep going....

And time goes by

It's been a month and a half since I moved to Gurgaon. I'm settling into the place and getting used to life here. Sometimes I do miss Delhi but gradually I think that will go away. It helps that since moving here I have been able to reconnect with some good friends, people who were always around but perhaps because of the Delhi - Gurgaon distance I could not meet up much with.

The daily routine has changed. I finally got around to the driving lessons I had promised myself. Went on the long anticipated trip Srinagar to Ladakh; started a Masters course and managed to submit the first set of assignments. Located a place that offers Pilates but have not taken up that one yet. Got back in touch with some great people, friends as well as family. Found new things to keep me busy.....took some effort but I knew I had to do it...Found a new job (truth be told, they found me) and quit TC. Am in the process of negotiating my "release" from the current job at the moment.

Change is good. Clean breaks are good. I know now that I can deal with whatever happens. I know now that I am stronger today than I was a few months ago. And I also know that I'm truly lucky to have so many people willing to be there for me in difficult times.....Everything will be fine.

Had to move back to stay with my folks for a bit, because of a mild case of typhoid. Not the horrible typhoid of last year that I'd suffered through ; I didn't even need to take more than a couple of days off from work. I must say, no matter how independent one gets, there are times in life when one needs someone to fall back on. For me, that's my parents - I come to stay with them every time I'm sick, and it really makes a difference.

The one night that I was alone at my own home, with temperature crossing 102 and nobody around to even put a cold compress, sticks in my mind though. I can't remember a time when I felt more alone and depressed, and it makes me realise how important a support structure is - and that means not just parents but others. The way things are right now, I don't think I have that. You kill yourself working, so much that you neglect all or most of your friendships and relationships, and at the end of the day this is where you end up. Alone!

Talking to myself

The gift of the gab. You either have it, or you don't. If (like me) you don't have it, you (like me) can't stop wishing you did. Every time you're in a conversation with someone and are left with nothing to say. Every time you think of a brilliant observation to make - hours after the opportunity is past. Each time someone with a quicksilver tongue manages to get attention in a way you can only dream of. Each time you are left feeling a little foolish and a little dull, and come back home to talk to your blog...

I moved house. Shifted to a two-bedroom flat and got myself a brand-new flatmate. Things look good. We have similar tastes and opinions, luckily. After the long phase of living alone, it's nice having someone to talk to and share things with. Of course it's a trade-off since privacy gets compromised...especially for a person like me that can be difficult.
But my room is huge, and the rent burden is much less now naturally. It's a third-floor walk-up so that took some getting used to...Lazy bum that I am!
Overall I'd say a good move.